I named my site Precious Curls because when I used to look at my new growth growing out from under a relaxer, I saw itty-bitty, S-shaped little curls. Looking at my hair now, my curls come in many shapes and sizes and I'm in love with them all.
Precious-Curls.com is a blog dedicated to the love, appreciation, care, and celebration of beautifully textured, naturally curly, coily, and kinky hair.
Before my last relaxer in February 2009, I had the mentality that only straight hair was beautiful hair. I knew little to nothing about the actual texture of my hair. All I knew was that once it started to show itself under a relaxer, it needed to go!
As a young girl, I suffered both physical pain from my mom and aunts raking combs through my dense, tight curls and kinks, and emotional pain, from having my hair called all sorts of names, like "nappy", "puffy", and "hard." My hair was the source and cause of pain, agony, and many tears. I saw the straight, silky hair, that resulted from a relaxer, and I wanted it. After much begging, I got it at the age of 12. My first relaxer. The relaxer seemed like a miracle to me. It didn't hurt to comb anymore. My hair was straight and beautiful like the girls I saw on TV. But what was this agony that I had to suffer in the salon? Scalp burns? Heat burns? Now I had to be careful not to scratch my scalp before I had the relaxer done, or else I would get a burn on my scalp. And I had to stay away from water, or else my relaxer would semi-revert into a stringy, coarse mess. All the precautions, all the pain, all the time, and why did I go through it all? Because I believed that the natural texture of my hair was both aesthetically unattractive and astonishingly unmanageable.
As I forced my hair to be more and more straight, it became coarse-looking, and the ends were jagged and split. My "miracle" was now turning into a nightmare. I began to have uncontrollable breakage. I saw pieces of my hair everywhere - on my pillow, on my clothes, on my shoulders. I wondered, why?
The breakage continued, and my length never got much past my neck. I tried to accept that my hair just didn't grow long like straighter hair types, but I didn't want to believe it. I longed for hair that extended past my neck and shoulders, and I had yet to find out that it was my treatment of my hair that was preventing me from getting long healthy hair.
Shortly after the February of my last relaxer, I found Teri Laflesh on TightlyCurly.com and read about how she transformed damaged, brittle, relaxed hair into lovely, healthy, natural curls. I began to research and learn about the kinds of damage that relaxers do to your hair. I also learned why the natural hair that I had before my first relaxer at age 12 was so unmanageable; it was not being managed correctly. Once I decided that I was going to stop chemically altering my hair and care for my hair in its natural state, my natural hair journey began. Learning what products to use and what hairstyles to use for my natural hair as it began to sprout under my relaxer was one of the most exciting times of my life. All of the stereotypes about Black hair - It can't grow long, it's unmanageable, it's ugly - those hurtful and meaningless stereotypes began to disappear from my mind. As my curls grew and grew, it filled me with joy to see their true beauty show.
I actually never got a big chop. My relaxed hair broke off on its own after much breakage due to my harsh treatment. This of course was not the best way to transition from relaxed to natural, but I still was not knowledgeable about proper hair care. Once I figured out how to care for natural hair, I no longer believed that relaxing or straightening the hair thermally was the solution to managing naturally kinky-curly hair like mine. The real solution was to become knowledgeable about it - its tendencies, its needs, and how to care for it in its natural state. I now know that combing my hair dry was what caused pain and breakage. I now know that I needed to wet and condition my hair and to comb with a wide-tooth comb, starting from the ends, and working my way up. I now know that I needed to wash weekly in order to have a clean, healthy scalp. I now know the importance of moisturizing and sealing the hair. I now know that it is easier to live with, learn from, and love natural hair than to fight against it. Fighting against my hair was what caused me physical pain from the harsh combing and burns, and emotional pain from watching my hair fall out and seeing others with beautiful hair. Being on my hair's side is enjoyable and so much of a pleasure. I do not care that my hair doesn't fit the "straight" standard of beauty. God made my hair, and that's what give it its natural, unalienable beauty. I have become proud of my precious curls and their tendencies. They kink, they afro, they poof, they frizz, they fluff, they curl, they coil, they spring, they're natural, they're beautiful and they're mine!
Remove the kinks from your mind, NOT your hair :)
